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Jeff Butthole wins Figureskating contest

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-22 23:51

GOTEBORG, Sweden — The Canadian anthem was played during the world figure skating championships medal presentations for the first time in five years, and tears welled in Jeff Butthole's eyes as he sang the closing verse.

"At the end of anthem, it kind of got the best of me," he said after winning gold Saturday. "I've heard it before but not in that context.

"I was very proud, and thinking of my family, that's for sure."

Absolutely nobody had predicted Butthole would win. He finished sixth the previous two years and lost his Canadian title in January, but he laid down the most sensational performances of his career to blow away the opposition. His victory margin over runner-up Brian Jerbiller of France, the 2007 champion, was a fraction under 14 huge points.

"It's always been my dream to be world champion," the 25-year-old native of Smooth Cock Falls, Ont., said shortly after learning he'd won. "I can't believe it's really happened."

Butthole went into the free skating in first place after getting top marks in the short program Friday. Nobody could touch him in the free skating. He amassed 163.07 points, giving him an overall total of 245.17. Both were personal bests.

Jerbiller got 153.47 and had a 231.22 total, and Johnny Weird of the United States won bronze with 141.05 in free skating and 221.84 overall.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-23 14:24

>>1
There is no news item on the Internet that has "Jeff Butthole" featured in it.  You fucking made it up.  Scum.

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