WHAT A GREAT PENIS!

MY GIGANTIC PENIS WILL ABSOLUTE CRUSH YOU INTO PIECES! WHEN I CUM I SHOOT LASERS OUT OF MY PENIS! EVEN SWORDS CAN'T CUT MY PENIS WHICH IS HARD AS DIAMOND! IT IS ABSOLUTELY INDESTRUCTABLE! IT IS SO BIG AND STRONG THAT I COULD DESTROY BUILDINGS WITH IT! MY PENIS DEMANDS A SACRIFACE! IT IS SO GREAT PENIS!

fail

Hey hold up there, cowboy.  Why can't you let your penis speak for itself?

>>3
IT'S BECAUSE MY PENIS HAVEN'T LEARNED ENGLISH YET. NOW IT ONLY SPEAKS PENESE, THE LANGUAGE OF PENISES. BUT SINCE NO MAN EXCEPT ME, THE HERALD OF MY OWN PENIS, CAN UNDERSTAND PENESE; I WILL TELL YOU WHAT MY PENIS WANTS TO SAY! SO KNEEL DOWN PATHETIC, KNEEL DOWN BEFORE MY PENIS!