Name: Alex 2007-10-18 21:35
Some time last night, it rained in sheets. It ended before I woke up, but nonetheless it rained last night. Went to school, and I found out that baseball practice was canceled. It was odd, because when I looked out on the field, it didn't look all that wet to me. But hey, what do I know about baseball fields, let alone gardening?
Anyway, 3rd hour came today (the class that I share with Kayla), and I'd figured she'd be somewhat happy that practice was canceled. Instead, she looked sullen and didn't really talk to anyone the entire hour, which is very unlike her. I figured it had to do something with last night, but I thought it would be best to wait till home to ask her about it. So I just left her alone for the rest of the hour.
Swim practice came and went, I began driving home. I knew she was already home, and I expected her to be either watching TV or jumping on the trampoline, as she usually does. But instead I found my mom, watching some soap opera. I asked her why she was home and she said that she wasn't feeling well. I began walking upstairs to my room, when she warned me that Kayla wasn't feeling well and that I should avoid her. I ignored mom and walked up to her door and knocked. There was no response, so I walked on in. Kayla was laying on the bed in her pajamas (plaid pants and black t). Called out her name and she ignored me. I could tell she was awake, but she was ignoring me. I walked towards her and called again. Still no answer. I tried one last time. "Kayla? Kaaayla?" This time she turned her head around to look at me and I saw something I didn't expect: she was crying. As a reflex, I stepped back, but I regained composure and walked back towards her. She sat up on her bed and I sat next to her. "Kayla," I said, "What's wrong?" I can't remember the last time I had seen her cry. She was still sniffling when shepushed her face into a pillow she had wrapped her body around, and mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. "Kayla," I said, this time with a small laugh, "You're talking to me. Not the pillow. She brought her head back out. Her eyes were swollen and her face was red. "Greg *sniff* Greg broke up with me today". I was kinda shocked by this. In almost all the relationships she's had, she was the one who ended it. But I guess this time, she was beaten to the punchline. I sympathetically put my arms around her, and hugged her. She showed no resistance, and somewhat leaned into it. "Aw, you'll be alright," I said, in attempt to comfort her. "Did he say why he broke up with you?" She let out a small sob "No. All he said was that he felt like we should move on." I didn't even bother mentioning that it was only a three week relationship, but I figured that to her, it seemed a lot longer. I held her in a little closer. "Well, just remember, Kayla. There are other fish in the sea. I'm sure you can find someone else." I was beginning to feel some of her tears soak into my shirt, but I didn't move. She just sheepishly responded, "Yeah, I know...". Somewhere along the line, she had let go of the pillow and wrapped her arms around me instead. We just sat there for what felt like hours, holding each other on her bed as her crying had quelled. Her breathing went back to normal, and her sniffling (for the most part) had stopped. I didn't want to move from the position, but I knew I'd have to eventually.
I was the one to interrupt and start to move away (she was still clinging a bit). I looked at her in the eyes and found her looking back. I gently put my hand on her chin and softly said, "Let me know when you feel better." She was still crying a bit, but she nodded and smiled. I then kissed her on the forehead, lingering for a short moment, then moving back to look back into her eyes. She was just frozen there, not even crying anymore with the smiled gone and mouth slightly gapping. She stared back at me with blue-green eyes that anyone could get lost in... and then she ruined the moment with a noise that was somewhere between a sob and a hiccup. We both laughed. I patted her on the head, told her that if she wanted to hang out, I'd be here all night. She laughed, and I left.
After today, I've come to realize something. I love her. It's simple as that. I love Kayla. I want to be there for her as much as I can. I want to protect her. I want to comfort her. I want to hold her. I want to be there for her. She's still my sister, and I'm going to hold back as much as I can. But I hope I can still be this close to her in the future. You have to understand, I'm not looking for sex or anything of the sort though (as weird as it is) the thoughts have gone through my head from time to time. I want to be there for her. As long as she accepts me, I will always be there for her.
Anyway, 3rd hour came today (the class that I share with Kayla), and I'd figured she'd be somewhat happy that practice was canceled. Instead, she looked sullen and didn't really talk to anyone the entire hour, which is very unlike her. I figured it had to do something with last night, but I thought it would be best to wait till home to ask her about it. So I just left her alone for the rest of the hour.
Swim practice came and went, I began driving home. I knew she was already home, and I expected her to be either watching TV or jumping on the trampoline, as she usually does. But instead I found my mom, watching some soap opera. I asked her why she was home and she said that she wasn't feeling well. I began walking upstairs to my room, when she warned me that Kayla wasn't feeling well and that I should avoid her. I ignored mom and walked up to her door and knocked. There was no response, so I walked on in. Kayla was laying on the bed in her pajamas (plaid pants and black t). Called out her name and she ignored me. I could tell she was awake, but she was ignoring me. I walked towards her and called again. Still no answer. I tried one last time. "Kayla? Kaaayla?" This time she turned her head around to look at me and I saw something I didn't expect: she was crying. As a reflex, I stepped back, but I regained composure and walked back towards her. She sat up on her bed and I sat next to her. "Kayla," I said, "What's wrong?" I can't remember the last time I had seen her cry. She was still sniffling when shepushed her face into a pillow she had wrapped her body around, and mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. "Kayla," I said, this time with a small laugh, "You're talking to me. Not the pillow. She brought her head back out. Her eyes were swollen and her face was red. "Greg *sniff* Greg broke up with me today". I was kinda shocked by this. In almost all the relationships she's had, she was the one who ended it. But I guess this time, she was beaten to the punchline. I sympathetically put my arms around her, and hugged her. She showed no resistance, and somewhat leaned into it. "Aw, you'll be alright," I said, in attempt to comfort her. "Did he say why he broke up with you?" She let out a small sob "No. All he said was that he felt like we should move on." I didn't even bother mentioning that it was only a three week relationship, but I figured that to her, it seemed a lot longer. I held her in a little closer. "Well, just remember, Kayla. There are other fish in the sea. I'm sure you can find someone else." I was beginning to feel some of her tears soak into my shirt, but I didn't move. She just sheepishly responded, "Yeah, I know...". Somewhere along the line, she had let go of the pillow and wrapped her arms around me instead. We just sat there for what felt like hours, holding each other on her bed as her crying had quelled. Her breathing went back to normal, and her sniffling (for the most part) had stopped. I didn't want to move from the position, but I knew I'd have to eventually.
I was the one to interrupt and start to move away (she was still clinging a bit). I looked at her in the eyes and found her looking back. I gently put my hand on her chin and softly said, "Let me know when you feel better." She was still crying a bit, but she nodded and smiled. I then kissed her on the forehead, lingering for a short moment, then moving back to look back into her eyes. She was just frozen there, not even crying anymore with the smiled gone and mouth slightly gapping. She stared back at me with blue-green eyes that anyone could get lost in... and then she ruined the moment with a noise that was somewhere between a sob and a hiccup. We both laughed. I patted her on the head, told her that if she wanted to hang out, I'd be here all night. She laughed, and I left.
After today, I've come to realize something. I love her. It's simple as that. I love Kayla. I want to be there for her as much as I can. I want to protect her. I want to comfort her. I want to hold her. I want to be there for her. She's still my sister, and I'm going to hold back as much as I can. But I hope I can still be this close to her in the future. You have to understand, I'm not looking for sex or anything of the sort though (as weird as it is) the thoughts have gone through my head from time to time. I want to be there for her. As long as she accepts me, I will always be there for her.