I once stuck a whole husked ear of corn about 9 inches in there while I was tweaking! I swear to god! We all know all guys have done it once just to experiment and see what its like, so fess up whats the biggest thing you've put in your butt?
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Anonymous2007-09-29 0:30 ID:varp6TQC
VAP.
Vicious Angry Poodle.
Nothing like that.
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Anonymous2007-09-29 0:35 ID:PesC4AdK
I've put big ears of corn in there also a couple times using no lube, this was also done while I was tweaking, it doesn't hurt much at all compared to if your sober
I stuck a large portion of a wine bottle up my ass
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Anonymous2007-09-29 11:39 ID:1VZ7mBbF
Put a leg of a stool up there a few times, but I'm totally finished with putting stuff up my ass. It's one of those things that seems like a good idea at the time, but afterwards you regret it.
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Anonymous2007-09-29 14:15 ID:Yj4OeyT3
I've never put anything up my ass but I'm very curious about the guitar or perhaps other classical instruments like the double bass.
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Anonymous2007-09-29 17:59 ID:LqDR0UX6
A cock.
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Anonymous2007-09-29 18:43 ID:Ya1NqWAR
sparta
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Anonymous2007-09-29 19:36 ID:LweT5/Db
An infant.
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Anonymous2007-09-30 0:31 ID:+eTp7LlC
I agree with 16, you always do regret it lol, aint that the truth!
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Anonymous2007-09-30 3:32 ID:+eTp7LlC
haha
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The Threadshitter2007-09-30 3:37 ID:mie/vKo5
I'm taking a shit into your thread -- huuuuuh pffarplfshhhhh farP! splash
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Anonymous2007-09-30 10:58 ID:1Q0zUOut
bottle of soap, squirted it in
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Anonymous2007-09-30 11:04 ID:/NIsgauu
A butter knife and a ballpoint pen, (at different times). not very big but im a pussy like that.
>>1 An oar. Yeh, that's right, a fucking rowboat oar. And I'm not talking about the tubular end. Oh, no. I'm indicating the end with the wide paddle on it. Remember, lake slime makes for a perfect lubricant. Luckily for my horny self, it was rather new and not providing of splinters.
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Anonymous2007-09-30 13:53 ID:qRCDChqx
hey sportsfans
I think the FBI is trying to set me up with jail bait (giving me blatantly open and obvious opportunities to pedophile it up). What they don't know, is that trick is on them.
I've found a way to smuggle a rifled SABOT slug up into my urethra. Now, nothing crazy, we are only talking 20 gauge. Ever seen that video of the guy getting that stick shoved in and out his dick? It's called practice, motherfucker.
So anyways, I see a piece of fine, tender, succulent nymphet who is like 14 years old yell out "hottie!" in my direction. I go over over, I talk, I chat, you know, casual chat, like a platonic jewey friend would do (PJF).
And then the action starts. I develop a massive erection during all of this, and then BAM, I whip it out and give it a few strokes whilst I aim in the proper direction and say "LICK MY TREMENDOUS JEWISH COCK, BITCH." My prostate will clench violently and the ejaculate juices will force the shell's primer into a chemical reaction and KABLAM, a thick metal dart blasts a hole through her cerebellum, splattering blood and gray matter with a sickening squishing sound onto the pavement, as her body relaxes and falls, lifeless, almost as if in slow motion. Half of her skull is blown out as the dark blood puddles on the pavement.
The FBI is quick to act. Agents, panicked and terrified of what act of cold blood they just gave witness to, quickly move into position and box me in. I desperately try to return whatever shots I can, but I could not hope to suppress their overwhelming volume of fire. As two agents bobbed behind a brick wall to reload, I grasped my chance, and yet in that very millisecond I knew, deep inside, I was done for.
I dashed a chaotic random pattern in a panic while laying down fire in the directions I could distinguish I was receiving fire from.
Agent Smith could not give less of a damn. He ignored the whizzing rounds passing nearby him with an utter lack of regard. "Piddle shit kid. you took the face off...our...our...little girl..." his voice trailed off. He calmly breathed in, and exhaled halfway before he found the bead he wanted. "Smile, you son of a bitch." Smith lightly squeezed the trigger.
The .223 from Smith found its soft target inside my thoratic cavity. One of my lungs was pierced, the other, teared almost in half by the hydroshock. I collapsed, lifeless, almost as if in slow motion.
The only question everyone asked, was why would a loving god EVER let something like this happen? WHY? She was only 14...she was only 14...
And for once, Howard Dean knew he had only himself to blame. BWAH!