loneliness

i have such high expectations of myself. i never accomlish my goals. i cant even wake up in the morning. i just wish sleep would consume me, the pain would end and i'd fall into oblivion escaping myself. a permanent sleep awaits this night i think.
the pain of my empty stomach feels almost good. it's like a relief knowing i'm slowly killing myself from lack of nutrition.
i hate myself so much. what can posting on a forum do? these people cant care for a pathetic young man and his ..issues.
i need to find something to live for again. i need a new ledge to grasp onto as the one i had faltered and i fell, lost sight and the bottom is creeping closer as i drop.

*sigh* no one will post anything. they can smell my worthlessness from there.... i'm going to go make a green tea and burn my numb fingers with hot water. scar my imperfect body and snap the visible bones i've grown to love.

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 /  /_\  \  /   |   \  /    ~    \    __)_  |       _/ /   |   \
/    |    \/    |    \ \    Y    /        \ |    |   \/    |    \
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