bummed

I'm 31 y.o. and have 0 friends. I haven't had a date since 1995 and haven't even kissed a girl since that same year. My life consists of going to work in the morning, coming home and taking a nap (best way to kill an hour out of the day) making myself an omlet for dinner and going to sleep. Several times a month I pay for a "masseuse" to come over but once that's over I feel even more miserable. I always offer to give them a massage as it's my one chance to touch someone of the opposite sex. they usually let me kiss their neck but it's just not the same as being with someone who really wants to be with you. Unfortunately, it's the only way I can get any interaction with a female. This has been my life's pattern for so many years now and I see no way for it to change or get better.


Well, I apologize if I bummed anyone out with my pitiful excuse for a life but I have never said any of this to anyone before and wanted to get it off my chest. I always get this way after I pay a girl to come over. I never thought I'd have to pay for an hour of a girl's attention but this is what my life has come to.

Why is a female so important to you anyway? Attraction to the opposite sex is nothing but your mind telling you to find a mate and reproduce. Love is not real, it is an illusion, a vagary of perception. NOTHING more. You are allowing this instinct which has no tangable benefit to you destroy you. You must eliminate it. Put it out of your mind. Though this can be dangerous as you will find that without this drive and lust for the opposite sex if you are not strong and smart enough you will lose your sense of purpose all together. This coupled with the increased aggressiveness and lower overall morality of not caring about how females will view you can be a catastrophic combination which may result in acts scaling to that of mass suicidal muderous rampages of self proclimation.

The risks may be high but the cost of freedom always is. Choose wisely.