Name: Anonymous 2007-09-03 3:56 ID:sYq0SnVb
There are three huge problems with being a virgin who is 20+ is today's society:
#1 is that for 20+ year olds in America, sex is EVERYWHERE. Absolutely everywhere. It's so close by and so obtainable to everyone. You watch the television and it's easy to find people kissing. A simple action that seems to attainable, yet is so far out of reach. It'll often seem like (especially around the holidays) that you are literally the only person not experiencing love. The worst though is when you see some fat idiotic guy on television with a decent wife, and you think, "if he can get someone, why can't I?"
Although this question at first seems comforting: "if he can get someone, then there's someone out there for me too!" it's not at all. The question pierces into my mind over and over. It is actually an awful question, making you feel worse about yourself for not being able to find anyone, while there's so retard hillbilly macking up all the women this side of Little Rock.
#2 is that the pain of not having a significant other is a serious issue that no one takes seriously. Now, I know that rape is a serious issue that many people do not take seriously (my best friend was raped twice - don't get me wrong, I understand that it is serious), but NO ONE takes being a virgin seriously. It's embarrassing and just as destructive as anything else. I've been through a sizable amount of pain, being bullied constantly during 7th-10th grade, my friend's seven suicide attempts, my other's friend's rapes, parents that couldn't deal with all of my problems, and yet the one pure pain that continues on and on, dealing out more damage than anything else, is my virginity and the lack of love. People are so conditioned by society that a lot of them don't realize how terrible being a 20+ virgin with no sexual history and little chance of any sexual future really is. You can tell by the posts in this thread. The only posts that I read that gave me any comfort were those written by other virgins or people who overcame late virginity. To those who don't suffer this problem, I don't really think that you have the ability to understand that although relationships cause huge amounts of anguish, having never had a relationship causes more pain. Problems arising from a relationship are much easier to deal with than the problems arising from no relationships at all. Society just assumes that all 20+ year olds have had relationships. Having not had one, you are out of place in society on a constant basis. Problems in relationships are also healthier because you get to work things out with the other person in the relationship, or, if you're breaking up, you can talk to a friend. Being a virgin means being completely alone - forever. For your whole life you've been alone. You can't share your problem, or society views you as a weakling. Only one of my friends knows that I am a virgin, and it randomly occurred in conversation. Being a virgin is a serious pain, and it's so embarrassing that you can't even talk about it with other people, especially when you're 20+. Because by the time you're 20+, literally everyone who you encounter in daily life is going to have had more action than you.
#3 is that being a virgin creates a pain that is opposite of most other pains. While other heavy problems (sexual abuse, death, divorce) decrease in their pain over time, virginity INCREASES in pain EVERY DAY. Each day you grow older, and each day you think "am I going to die alone?" and that leads to the unavoidable follow-up question, "if I live my life alone, without sex or a relationship, and the pain is only increasing, then what is the point of living?" And that's when you find yourself here. I know that in a year from now, no matter how close I come to my goals of feeling better about my other problems, I'm going to feel WORSE about being a virgin than I do today. Being a virgin at age X is better than being a virgin at age X+1.
I've developed all sorts of thoughts about my virginity and the lack of everyone else's. Heh, I remember one from a while ago, where I was convinced that I was being used by aliens in a scientific experiment. The experiment was for the aliens to create a universe where there is one constant drive for all living creatures. Then, they inserted me into the universe as a test subject to see what would happen if they made an individual completely unable to obtain this constant drive. They're testing me to see how long I will last before I go insane and kill myself.
Since that theory I've been through others. I must have spent hours and hours thinking about how huge of a failure I am.
#1 is that for 20+ year olds in America, sex is EVERYWHERE. Absolutely everywhere. It's so close by and so obtainable to everyone. You watch the television and it's easy to find people kissing. A simple action that seems to attainable, yet is so far out of reach. It'll often seem like (especially around the holidays) that you are literally the only person not experiencing love. The worst though is when you see some fat idiotic guy on television with a decent wife, and you think, "if he can get someone, why can't I?"
Although this question at first seems comforting: "if he can get someone, then there's someone out there for me too!" it's not at all. The question pierces into my mind over and over. It is actually an awful question, making you feel worse about yourself for not being able to find anyone, while there's so retard hillbilly macking up all the women this side of Little Rock.
#2 is that the pain of not having a significant other is a serious issue that no one takes seriously. Now, I know that rape is a serious issue that many people do not take seriously (my best friend was raped twice - don't get me wrong, I understand that it is serious), but NO ONE takes being a virgin seriously. It's embarrassing and just as destructive as anything else. I've been through a sizable amount of pain, being bullied constantly during 7th-10th grade, my friend's seven suicide attempts, my other's friend's rapes, parents that couldn't deal with all of my problems, and yet the one pure pain that continues on and on, dealing out more damage than anything else, is my virginity and the lack of love. People are so conditioned by society that a lot of them don't realize how terrible being a 20+ virgin with no sexual history and little chance of any sexual future really is. You can tell by the posts in this thread. The only posts that I read that gave me any comfort were those written by other virgins or people who overcame late virginity. To those who don't suffer this problem, I don't really think that you have the ability to understand that although relationships cause huge amounts of anguish, having never had a relationship causes more pain. Problems arising from a relationship are much easier to deal with than the problems arising from no relationships at all. Society just assumes that all 20+ year olds have had relationships. Having not had one, you are out of place in society on a constant basis. Problems in relationships are also healthier because you get to work things out with the other person in the relationship, or, if you're breaking up, you can talk to a friend. Being a virgin means being completely alone - forever. For your whole life you've been alone. You can't share your problem, or society views you as a weakling. Only one of my friends knows that I am a virgin, and it randomly occurred in conversation. Being a virgin is a serious pain, and it's so embarrassing that you can't even talk about it with other people, especially when you're 20+. Because by the time you're 20+, literally everyone who you encounter in daily life is going to have had more action than you.
#3 is that being a virgin creates a pain that is opposite of most other pains. While other heavy problems (sexual abuse, death, divorce) decrease in their pain over time, virginity INCREASES in pain EVERY DAY. Each day you grow older, and each day you think "am I going to die alone?" and that leads to the unavoidable follow-up question, "if I live my life alone, without sex or a relationship, and the pain is only increasing, then what is the point of living?" And that's when you find yourself here. I know that in a year from now, no matter how close I come to my goals of feeling better about my other problems, I'm going to feel WORSE about being a virgin than I do today. Being a virgin at age X is better than being a virgin at age X+1.
I've developed all sorts of thoughts about my virginity and the lack of everyone else's. Heh, I remember one from a while ago, where I was convinced that I was being used by aliens in a scientific experiment. The experiment was for the aliens to create a universe where there is one constant drive for all living creatures. Then, they inserted me into the universe as a test subject to see what would happen if they made an individual completely unable to obtain this constant drive. They're testing me to see how long I will last before I go insane and kill myself.
Since that theory I've been through others. I must have spent hours and hours thinking about how huge of a failure I am.