Need a hug

I am feeling like ending it all everything is going wrong and it is neverending.
 Everday i find it hard to get out of bed i dont want antidepressants as i have been on loads before and none of them worked . I have asked social services for help but they just forget me so i am past caring now. I just want to leave all this behind but i feel that people will see me as an evil person for killing myself but i can't i just cant. I just don't want to be in this horrible evil world anymore it will not change i will be like this forever if i don't do it.

Exercise regularly so you look good naked, and then instead of whining on the internet go and find a girlfriend to lick out your asshole while she jacks you off. Then spend your evenings watching arthouse films, drinking scotch and sucking on her tits.

Sound any better than downing a bottle of sleeping pills? If not, kill yourself.