Suicidal thoughts

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't think I could ever really kill myself or anything, I don't even really want to die. I want to live and enjoy life and enjoy the sun shine when I can, but I often get thoughts of "I wish I where dead" running through my head. If I'm driving, I'll just have this....urge to let go of the wheel and hit the gas.  Or if I'm walking next to a busy road I think "Just one step, it only takes one step".

All of which are really nerve wrecking! I've been doing ok lately I think, as far as not getting depressed and eating and sleeping. I'm smiling a lot more and talking to people. But I still get thoughts like those in my head from time to time. Like tonight.

I tried teaching myself a new juggling trick to take my mind off of the thoughts of dieing, but the moment I stop concentrating on juggling and my new trick I think "I wish I was dead"

I don't get it. I don't want to die! I don't, but yet I still get these thougts in my head and it's like If I stop doing anything, if I sit down to relax and I'm not concentrating on something I get these thoughts in my head.

I'm already going to a psychiatrist, don't worry about that. I just wanted to vent and get my head off on to something else, to actively be doing something so I don't do anything stupid.

It sounds like a chemical problem. Probably some light depression. I'd consult a psychiatrist for a diagnosis, instead of the 11-year-olds at 4chan.