I hate my life

For over a year and a half now i have really hated my life. i have thought several times about committing suicide but never followed through with it. everyone keeps telling me not to, that there are other ways to deal with it. i have tried everything. I've been on prescription anti depressents, i've been to counseling, i've prayed to God, i've even just tried talk to my friends. i can't seem to get rid of these feeling or thoughts. I feel so alone/so crapy inside. the pain i have as collected up since i was in high school now comes out after the first girl i ever opened up to (i have never opened up to anyone else before) and ever loved, rejected me. this happened over a year ago and i can't get over her or stop thinking about how much it hurts inside. so much pain all at once.