Name: Anonymous 2007-08-13 7:33 ID:08K3BHX9
Well, it has been a while since I have masturbated because well, I've been working too much to even think about sex really. I work as a part time DJ on top of a full time job as a customer service supervisor for our local RITE AID pharmacy and convenience store (the title IS on my badge ok so don't hate). So I came back from a grueling double shift wherein we were all dealing with the worst of clients...angry old ladies...pretty much all day and I needed a little release if you know what I mean and I...I think you do! And for those who do not get my meaning I mean that were my testicles able to talk they would be screaming at me to do something about my situation or they were going to respectfully post a 2 weeks notice and leave promptly after that period in time had ended (they are really team players I would give them a good recommendation).
So anyway I sat down at the family computer well after I thought everyone had gone to bed and started pulling up my favorite sites...celebrity sex tape blogs, bondage loving gay midgets, etc...and while searching the celeb blogs I ran across an interesting post, the headline of which read: "DID THE PRESIDENT USED TO DO PORN?"
"Jackpot!" I thought, clicking the big blue letters with silent fervor (lest I wake mother with loud fervor). And there before me was an aged photograph with a nude man on it that actually didn't look all that bad but clearly had GW's facial features. There was also a bunch of words but they are dumb who reads words? Anyway I was getting pretty into a monica lewinsky presidential threeway fantasy (I even put on some sexy president music ["ghetto superstar"] to get in the mood) and abusing my mansausage when i heard a cough from directly behind me...
The cough was a gross, phlegmy cough that could have only been accomplished by a failure in life and a career smoker so the obvious origin of it was none other than my own stepfather Leon...I spun around, closing my robe and alt+tabbing over to another application to see him with a look of shock and awe (so to speak), which quickly turned into a knowing smile. "Gross!" I thought, and visibly winced, which was taken by him to be a sign of guilt.
"It's okay!" he said, laughing to himself "...we kind of had an inkling that you'd be crossing the aisle any time soon." And with that he walked outside to get more smokes out of his truck and then trudged as slowly as f**king possible back to his bedroom and closed the door.
My question to you is: how do I prove that my political beliefs haven't changed and does jerking off to a republican's old nude photos make me a republican? I would like to stay a democrat if possible but now I think my whole family will peg me as a righty from now on.
What do I do?