Over the past year I've been trying to lie to myself, to think on something else, even got laid and tried to fall in love with other men, anything but admitting what I, deep down inside, already knew.
I love my brother. Not in the way most brothers love their brothers, but in the way a man loves a man. A fag in the true meaning of the word. Not because of some silly fetish either; when I say love, I mean real, "I'll suck your cock all night long" love.
My bro is only one year younger than me, making him 76, and currently doesn't have a boyfriend. He's pretty, at least to my eyes, but this is not fueling this. It's his dick. I like no other man's cock this much. We always had a lot of make out sessions after dark, and it's as if we were engineered to be together. Only we happened to share our parents.
Lately, I realized I could not give up on this, but I'm kind of scared. I know this is fucked up. But I don't know what to do. I've been following him for a couple of weeks, and this is causing his suffering, his need for my cock, which in turn breaks my heart. I don't know if I should confess my love and face the consequences of experiencing a kind of love that's considered unacceptable in our society, even for him, or just let it pass and die inside.
Help me /lounge, what should I do? I think he may be feeling something similar for me becuase we are very close and he considers me attractive, but I don't know to what extent this may only be wishful thinking on my part. Knowing him, he'll come and go as he sees fit, but I'm sure he won't be angry at me if I tell him how I feel, but I don't know for sure if he'll still feel the same about jiggling my balls at night. I'm positive our parents and everybody else in our family and community will oppose such love, but if he loves me, I'm willing to face all of them or move to some other country to start a new life with him. But I wouldn't want to put pressure on him or make him feel uneasy. So while I think about confessing, I masturbate to a picture about him and think about all the great times we had together. I'm not 100% sure if he would do the same, and I don't know to what extent what I think is distorted by my strong affection for his penis....
Name:
tricia of another world2007-07-24 2:24 ID:rIEVAT6G
hi im tricia,i just wanna share my experience..i dont know how to start!uhmm.. i hope no one will misjudge me here i just wanna let this feeling out of me!
they say love is like paradise..its beautiful.. they say its sweet...specially when youre in love with the right guy in the right time..but why is this happening to me!i love someone but i didnt feel its beautiful and sweet,..in fact i am feeling guilt..wanna know why?
cause is my cousin..first cousin!!thats why i feel angry with myself if i dont let him be a big thing in my life i will not suffer like this i wanna be with him always!but i cant..our family keep us apart..we see each other some times but its not enough i want to hug him and tell him what i really feel but i know it will make the situation more complicated.im in college now i dont want to dissapoint my auntie who were paying my tuition fee.im ashamed of myself of what i feel..thats all pls help me i need a friend to lean on!!thanksss