I Need to Change

I am 15 1/2 years old and just completed my freshmen year of high school. It was pretty average. I hated the beginning of it, but I became a lot happier towards the end. I have good grades, am probably the best freshmen volleyball player, have a good amount of friends, and would consider myself good-looking. I still, though, have never had a girlfriend and have only really kissed one girl. But I didn't really care because at the end of school, I was probably one of the happiest of those around me. I was improving my personality, my looks, and the amount of people I talked to.

Then summer came around...

I thought summer was going to be a blast, but instead I sat around and did nothing for the first week-no socializing or improvement-just sitting playing video games. This started a chain reaction. I have to try really hard to do anything. My mom just started chemo for her cancer so she can't drive. I do nothing. I haven't even tried achieving the goals I set out to complete-learning the guitar, meeting knew people, improving myself. I just sit around playing on my computer feeling like crap. I'm insecure, lazy, and feel like no girls will ever be attracted to me (even though I'm actually semi-good looking so my personality must suck)

Mainly this post is just me venting my frustration. I have a volleyball tournament this weekend and I'm hoping to start over afterwards. I'm going to try to stop playing as much video games-even quitting all together, and completing the goals that I set out to achieve (I'm making a list)

dude im 18 and ive never held a girls hand but you dont see me complaining. you wont need women once your 18. my plan is to go to JP and get some eroge. 3000 dollars should hold me off for a year or soo