I need your help 4chan! A little story...

Hello 4channers, I have a disturbing short story to tell you. My friend came over and was apparently browsing through my closet and found my vibrator. No, I am not a woman. It's not a normal vibrator, penis like in shape, it is infact a little vibrating egg meant for insertion in a fake vagoo. Now, I've put this thing in my anus and jizzed all over it etc and it looks kinda used. When he asked what it was teasing me, I quickly came up with "It was my ex girlfriend's, I used to use it on her". He giggled like a moron and put it in his mouth. I couldn't see the expression on my own face but now it hurts. WHAT DO I DO?!

Chris Hanssen is very helpful and posts here often, so just sit tight and a solution will be forthcoming.

Fuck Chris hanssen. I need help! Im not trolling.

Stick it in his pooper.

srsly, no really, do it
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you done it yet? yeah, THAT'S the expression YOU had.

Idk... it wasn't really pain so I dont see how it is :P There was a lack of sweating and paleness too

I dont see the problem with this one. You would only be guilty of missing a prime window of opportunity to laugh at him while the poop egg was in his mouth. Now when you tell him it is your jerk off toy that he sucked on, it won't feel as satisfyingly pure when you laugh. But still, be a man and tell him.

He knew. And he loved it.

>>1

what you do is laugh your fucking ass off!!  LOL!  I thought you were going to complain that your friend knew you were putting things up your ass, and he was going to ruin your life or something.  If I were you, I would hang on to this gem for a long time, hang it over him, and then one day tell him what the egg really was and laugh your ass off.  What a retard, putting an unknown used sex toy in his mouth.  Hilarious, if true.

By the way, what do you mean when you say the egg is meant for a fake vagina?