Apart from not being funny, even in the random sense that you were going for which was so obviously predictable, I also couldn't follow it. I didn't make sense at for pretty much most of the beginning and only started to near the end. However, this is the point where I really didn't give shit what you wrote because an idiot who can barely make coherent thoughts under absolutely no pressure nor time constraints at all must be fuckin retarded.
I hope for your sake that when you wrote this someone had a fuckin gun to your head because then that would be an excuse for writing that piece of shit garbage that you posted. But even then that would mean that someone would want you to write that. So much so that they actually put a gun to your head. And who would want you write meaningless garbage that isn't even remotely funny and a waste of time..... a conundrum! I'll start working on that; you go play with some blocks or something.