Name: kev 2007-03-22 12:46 ID:TR8RgMSz
March 3rd, 2007 by kev in Kev Blog
I’m trying to think back on when it first happened, when I was first referred to by someone, as “big man” or “big guy”. You know, like when the homeless man standing outside the post office steps to you as you walk up and says, “hey big man, can you help me out with some spare change?” I can almost remember the first time it happened because I’m pretty sure that it WAS by a homeless man in front of the post office, maybe 7, 8 years ago.
Of course, I had already had my bouts of weight gain way before that but I think there must have been a point where I actually started to look comfortable as an older, “big man” type of guy in the eyes of other people and before I knew it, there it was.
I can’t say I’m totally comfortable when someone refers to me in this way. I’m not quite yet. I still have those fleeting images of me being the waify-thin, spikey-haired punk rock firebrand I was at the age of 21, the version of me that had more energy, more teeth, far less tattoos, less debt, no gray hair and most definitely, less pudge around my jowels, ass and mid-section.
I may have even had a bigger penis back then, I’m not sure (ex-girlfriends…are any of you reading this?)
Anyway, being called “big man” or “big guy” is far cooler to me than being called “big boy”. “Big boy” sounds like that fat, clumsy, slightly retarded-looking son of bad parents you see far too often at Walmart these days. At least it sounds more “grown in to” or slightly more lived in which means a little more experience and weariness to go along with those 25 extra pound I now carry around with me like a small child and I don’t really mind that at all.
Of course tomorrow, if I could be guaranteed rapid quick weight loss and a return back to a small waist band, I’d jump on it but mainly because I still perform punk rock music live and I hate the way I feel at gigs. I know there is no such thing and I also know that you actually have to work your butt off a bit with diet and exercise to attain such a lofty notion.
I should do this soon. I really should. I really fuckin’ should.
I’m trying to think back on when it first happened, when I was first referred to by someone, as “big man” or “big guy”. You know, like when the homeless man standing outside the post office steps to you as you walk up and says, “hey big man, can you help me out with some spare change?” I can almost remember the first time it happened because I’m pretty sure that it WAS by a homeless man in front of the post office, maybe 7, 8 years ago.
Of course, I had already had my bouts of weight gain way before that but I think there must have been a point where I actually started to look comfortable as an older, “big man” type of guy in the eyes of other people and before I knew it, there it was.
I can’t say I’m totally comfortable when someone refers to me in this way. I’m not quite yet. I still have those fleeting images of me being the waify-thin, spikey-haired punk rock firebrand I was at the age of 21, the version of me that had more energy, more teeth, far less tattoos, less debt, no gray hair and most definitely, less pudge around my jowels, ass and mid-section.
I may have even had a bigger penis back then, I’m not sure (ex-girlfriends…are any of you reading this?)
Anyway, being called “big man” or “big guy” is far cooler to me than being called “big boy”. “Big boy” sounds like that fat, clumsy, slightly retarded-looking son of bad parents you see far too often at Walmart these days. At least it sounds more “grown in to” or slightly more lived in which means a little more experience and weariness to go along with those 25 extra pound I now carry around with me like a small child and I don’t really mind that at all.
Of course tomorrow, if I could be guaranteed rapid quick weight loss and a return back to a small waist band, I’d jump on it but mainly because I still perform punk rock music live and I hate the way I feel at gigs. I know there is no such thing and I also know that you actually have to work your butt off a bit with diet and exercise to attain such a lofty notion.
I should do this soon. I really should. I really fuckin’ should.