Can't get a girlfriend

Good evening /lounge/. I'm really not sure how seriously you'll take this, but every other forum I go to is patrolled by my own friends, whom I don't want to see this. I'm sure you're probably tired of seeing angsty teenage crap like this, but I honestly thank you if you provide any help whatsoever.

I'm somewhat depressed. As a high school senior, I have not ever had a single girlfriend, ever. I have tons of friends, and I think I'm not really considered too much of a nerd/idiot/whatever to be considered unattractive. Part of the problem is that I'm an introvert, and I don't talk that much about what I really feel.

I think I've reached the edge of the cliff. I suddenly started feeling like I needed to be with someone the other night, and soon. I've felt hopeless and lost ever since. I don't feel driven to depression or suicide or anything, but rather just like I've hit a wall.

Problem: I'm a senior that's nearing the end of the school year. I had a major opportunity to be with someone I had a crush on for a while. However, I decided not to do anything and instead gently push her away, because I knew we would have to break up as soon as college rolled around, which would inevitably lead to heartbreak. I'm saving her the pain of it by not doing anything. It really fucking hurts to me to do this, but I really don't want to see her hurt. Therefore, what could have been will never be at all.

I'm waiting until college to do anything romantic. Well, I'm trying, at least. It's getting really damn hard to not do anything though. I've also heard college is one of the worst times to go looking for a girlfriend... if that were true, it really might actually make me depressed.

I just don't know what to do while I'm trying to wait it out until college. Does anyone have experience with this? Any sincere input would really help.

I HATE women. I never had a girlfriend and never will. The only times I got laid was when I paid a woman or promised her something. I'm never going to hold hands with a chick, kiss a girl intimately because we're in love, or any of the other shit that human beings were made to do. I guess that I'm suppose to be happy masturbating every fucking night. I'm a man with sexual urges and can't get with a female. I'm suppose to be alright with that? THERE IS A FUCKING CURSE ON MY LIFE. A CURSE THAT PREVENTS ANY FEMALE FROM LIKING ME. Oh I forgot, I do get interest from fat chicks and I'm not attracted to fat chicks.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to become the biggest asshole in the world. I tried the whole being considerate thing and it got me nowhere. If people can't handle my newfound harshness, then bring it on. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I get happy when I hear about some college slut getting murdered or injured in a hit and run. "oh she was a beautiful and talented girl, how could this happen." I don't know but I'm glad it did.