Age: 12 Gender: male Hobbies: anime (esp. Naruto), C++, Warhammer Family: mother, father, older sister Income: $2 (i.e. weekly allowance; used to be $4 but was decreased after the OP set the neighbor's dog on fire) Secret crush: Becky, a 53-year-old English teacher at the OP's school Secret habits: picks on butt crack, doesn't wash hands afterwards Likes: chocolate, porn, Japan, 4chan Dislikes: Jews, Arabs, "Niggers," liberals Wants to become: a fireman (so that he can save lolis and much older women in distress and leave "filthy" Jews, Arabs, "Niggers" and liberals to die in the fire)