Well, never mind all that,
>>1. This has nothing to do with this thread, but would you just listen to me for a little bit? See, I went to the local brothel today. Right. Brothel. And the damn place was packed so full of people, I couldn't even find a seat. So I looked around a bit, and I found a sign that said "$50 off". What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you idiots or something? Any other day you wouldn't even think of going to get your ashes hauled, but if it's $50 off, you all flock in here? It's just 50 fucking dollars! 50 dollars! And you're bringing the kids too. Look at that, a family of four going to the whorehouse. Con-fucking-gratulations. And now the guy's going, "All right! Daddy's going to bone a fat chick!" Shit, I can't watch any more of this.
A brothel should be fucking brutal. Two guys sit facing each other across a U-shaped table, and you never quite know if they'll suddenly just start a fight right there. It's stab-or-be-stabbed, and that's what so damn great about the place. Women and kids should stay the fuck away.
Well, I finally found a whore, but then the guy next to me goes, "I'll have a fat chick and an extra condom!". So now I'm pissed off again. Who the fuck orders extra condoms these days? Why are you looking so goddamn proud when you say that? I was gonna ask you, are you really going to fuck a fat girl twice? I wanted to fucking interrogate you. For about a fucking hour. You know what? I think you just wanted to say "extra condom".
Now, take it from the whorehouse veteran. The latest thing among the regulars is this: Asian girls. That's the ticket. A tall Asian girl in a leather skirt. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put on that skirt, and and it really shows off her ass. An Asian girl with a muscular ass, wearing a tight black leather skirt that clings to her curves, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep asking for her, there's a risk the madam might ban you. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs.
And you,
>>1, well, you should really just stick to fapping.