I SLAPPED A BLACK WOMAN IN THE FACE TODAY

  I work at a retail supercenter (I won't say which one), at the customer service desk.  This totally ghetto fatass black bitch with missing teeth, a 20 inch afro, and an attitude from hell comes up in my line, with a garbage bag full of clothes, and just dumps them on the counter.  Says some shit that she bought them yesterday but 'dey didn't fit and I wants my money back'.  No receipt, of course.  Perturbed, I told her that maybe it would be easier on her calves if she could figure out her size right the first time.  She started getting all loud and stereotypically ghetto, saying "I wanna talk to yo manager" and "Dontchu be talkin' to me like dat boy" and stuff.  Anger rose up within me, and suddenly, out of nowhere, my hand started traveling at a high velocity across her fat, stupid, African lips. 
  It was a glorious moment, I tell you.
  Correction:  I *used* to work at a retail supercenter.

Dumbass. You should have planted something from the store on her, taken her to the ground and phoned the cops. Who do you think they are going to believe?