When I was 8 yo I had sex with my Cousin

she was 10, and even though she was older than me, I feel like I ruined her childhood

I visited them the year after when I was 9 and her older sister always made sure we were never together

I havent seen or talked to any of them since

I never really think about it, idk why I did just now

I've been jacking off as far back as I can remember.  Or trying to.