Name: oljd 2006-10-08 12:20
Well, lounge, i need jo halp. Firstly, what text is used for most of 4chans macros? I think its something along the lines of Kabel bd, but how do you get the black outline on the letters? Id really love to contribute with some cats or orlys, but i cant cuz i dont know the font used. also, i wrote this thing, critique it and tel me what you think is wrong.
"Today I felt the second worst pain of my life."
or
" I hope this makes up for screwing you over, Dan"
Today at work around 7:30 a terror came upon me worse than any I had felt before ( save the 5 hour migraine). It arose after eating a few chicken tenders with buffalo sauce on an empty stomach. Before you make assumptions, know that I am very tolerant of spicy foods, indeed, my stomach s a force to be reckoned with. After my meal a pain emerged like that of red hot nails materializing in my gut. This pain continued on and less-on for and hour, during which time a made frequent stops to the restroom to try and cast out the demon, but to no avail. This pain was something beyond foul feces burning my insides, as I could not simply release it. Later, a kind maiden bestowed upon me a flask of milk, to coat my vessel and choke out the devil, smothering it in cold and cream. This hardly slowed the pain, and the juggernaut carried onward(bitch). After another hour the agony grew so immense I had to take leave, and, after consulting with my higher, I was rescued by my caravan and escorted home. There, I tried to take my mind of the belly tearing coals by distracted my self with a film (bitch!). This only allowed the fiery poltergeist to morph, splitting it efforts two ways. The two new demons went to work, one scraping, stabbing and burning, and one prying my throat open, splashing my bile, and rumbling my inner ear. This new symptom of nausea manifested itself in and imp, a small creature with one task, to escape my stomach through my mouth. I struggled with him for a half hour total, and suppressed this one, and with it the others. But remnants lay behind, and from them grew a new Satan, who traveled to my groin. He sent out armies of glass-tipped phantoms, scraping and tearing a path from my anus through my epidermis and out through the head. I medicated my self and the demons faded in power. Presently there is still some pain, and clinching my anus helps to relieve it.
My diagnosis: Acid reflux, Food poisoning, virus, and least likely, kidney stone
update: its the day after and my groin still hurts when i cough
-oljd
"Today I felt the second worst pain of my life."
or
" I hope this makes up for screwing you over, Dan"
Today at work around 7:30 a terror came upon me worse than any I had felt before ( save the 5 hour migraine). It arose after eating a few chicken tenders with buffalo sauce on an empty stomach. Before you make assumptions, know that I am very tolerant of spicy foods, indeed, my stomach s a force to be reckoned with. After my meal a pain emerged like that of red hot nails materializing in my gut. This pain continued on and less-on for and hour, during which time a made frequent stops to the restroom to try and cast out the demon, but to no avail. This pain was something beyond foul feces burning my insides, as I could not simply release it. Later, a kind maiden bestowed upon me a flask of milk, to coat my vessel and choke out the devil, smothering it in cold and cream. This hardly slowed the pain, and the juggernaut carried onward(bitch). After another hour the agony grew so immense I had to take leave, and, after consulting with my higher, I was rescued by my caravan and escorted home. There, I tried to take my mind of the belly tearing coals by distracted my self with a film (bitch!). This only allowed the fiery poltergeist to morph, splitting it efforts two ways. The two new demons went to work, one scraping, stabbing and burning, and one prying my throat open, splashing my bile, and rumbling my inner ear. This new symptom of nausea manifested itself in and imp, a small creature with one task, to escape my stomach through my mouth. I struggled with him for a half hour total, and suppressed this one, and with it the others. But remnants lay behind, and from them grew a new Satan, who traveled to my groin. He sent out armies of glass-tipped phantoms, scraping and tearing a path from my anus through my epidermis and out through the head. I medicated my self and the demons faded in power. Presently there is still some pain, and clinching my anus helps to relieve it.
My diagnosis: Acid reflux, Food poisoning, virus, and least likely, kidney stone
update: its the day after and my groin still hurts when i cough
-oljd