/b/ - the Adventure

Inspired by SMAP. Sorry for any errors, been a long time since i did something like this. continued from /b/, here is the text dump, I fixed a few errors while copying the textdump, also added the mailbox to the overview because i had a idea about it:


C:\>_
C:\>CD B
C:\B\>BADVENT1.EXE
Loading SuperVGA/VESA Drivers...
VESA Drivers Copyright(c) by Video Electronics Standards Association
/b/ - The Adventure Copyleft 4chan, Anonymous &/b/
You are in front of a big door that has the Letters 4CHAN encarved into it, as you try to enter it you find the door locked.
INPUT:_
INPUT:sega_
You fail to lower the post.
INPUT:_
INPUT:harbl
You seem to have said a magical keyword. Without any noise, the door swings open.
INPUT:_
INPUT:DO A BARREL ROLL!
BARREL ROLL is not a thing you can DO. Use OPTIONS to list your abilitys.
INPUT:_
INPUT:options_
Your current OPTIONS are: SAVE LOAD INVENTORY CHECK GO LOOK DO OPEN SPEAK GIVE TAKE PUT PULL PUSH MOVE USE EXIT
INPUT:_
INPUT:    OH YEAH
Nobody can hear you screaming.
INPUT:_
INPUT:fap_
You must have a penis to fap. Since you play Anonymous, nobody knows your sex.
INPUT:_
INPUT:take welder
There is no welder near you.
INPUT:_
INPUT:look_
You look around. You are still in front of the now open wooden door with the letters 4CHAN on it that leads to the Castle of Lord moot and his proconsul W.T. Snacks. As you look to the horizont, you see the blackened evening sky. Grass is all around you, and to the left of the door is a small bush. To the right of the door is a mailbox.
INPUT:_
INPUT:EXIT_
Doing auto-save....... done.

Thanks for playing /b/ - the Adventure!
C:\B\>_
C:\B\>BADVENT1.EXE
Loading SuperVGA/VESA Drivers...
VESA Drivers Copyright(c) by Video Electronics Standards Association
/b/ - The Adventure Copyleft 4chan, Anonymous &
/b/

Loading last savegame.... done.
INPUT:_
INPUT: GET YE FLASK
Nobody hears you screaming.

HINT: commands that are completly unknown are interpreted as saying/screaming.
INPUT:_
INPUT: OPEN MAILBOX_
You open the mailbox of Lord moot & W.T. Snacks. You find: 200 "I will kill you"-Mails, 500 "Unban me plskthxbye" Mails, 1200 "We will sue you"-Mails & One Parcel.
INPUT:_
INPUT: ENLARGE PENIS NOW
You must have a penis to enlarge it. Since you play Anonymous, nobody knows your sex.
INPUT:_
INPUT: GET PARCEL
You put the parcel into your inventory and put the other mails back into the mailbox since they are useless spam.
INPUT:_
INPUT: open parcel
You open the parcel. While you open the parcel you notice that it has been sent by ACME. You find a quickstart guide for the Internet in it and a 56k Modem.
INPUT:_
INPUT: IDSPISPOPD
Nobody hears your screaming.
INPUT:_

INPUT: Connect to the Internet

Nobody hears what you say.

HINT: Use proper commands only.
INPUT:_

INPUT: GET TRIPCODE

INPUT: LOOK BUSH

INPUT: GET YE FLASK
You can't take ye flask.

>>4
You are Anonymous. You don't need or use a tripcode.
INPUT:_
>>6
You look at the bush. It is a green bush with red blossoms that are for some strange reason shaped like a W. They look like you could TAKE some of em. Maybe you can PULL the Bush away or CHECK whats behind it?
INPUT:_

INPUT: CHECK BUSH
INPUT: TAKE BLOSSOM

INPUT: SAEG

>>8
You press the bush away. Behind it you find a realy small wooden door that has the letters "not4chan" encarved on it.

You take some of the the W shaped blossoms and put them in your inventory.
>>9
Nobody hears you screaming.

INPUT:_

INPUT: TAKE OFF EVERY 'ZIG' !!
INPUT: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DOING
INPUT: MOVE 'ZIG'
INPUT: FOR GREAT JUSTICE

INPUT: OPEN not4chan door
INPUT: LOOK at Loli

>>11
You can't see any such thing.

No, you DON'T know what you're doing.

You can't see any such thing.

I don't even understand what you just said.

>>12
Opened. You still have to walk through it yourself, though.

I've known some strange people, but looking at a lurking loli?

INPUT: LOOK MODEM
INPUT: LOOK GUIDE

INPUT: USE THRUST VECTORING
INPUT: TAKE BLUE KEYCARD

>>14
It's a goddamned 56k. BLEAH.

This is not The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so the guide is not present. Ain't that a bitch?

>>15
You are not currently driving a vehicle at all, much less one with thrust vectoring.

You can't see any such thing.

[Who ever fucks with my adventure will be banned from the BBS, i m... oh wait, this isn't the 80s. anway, i laughted at your answers anonymous, but please stop that, or at least use typical textadventure answers. if i like 'em, we can keep 'em. and no, i'm not going to get a tripcode.]

>>11
You can't see any such thing.
INPUT:_
Nobody hears your screaming.
INPUT:_
You can't see any such thing.
INPUT:_
Nobody hears your screaming.
INPUT:_
>>12
As you try to open the small door that has the letters "not4chan" on it, you hear a voice asking you for a passcode.
INPUT:_
You can't see any loli around you.
INPUT:_
>>14
You look at the modem. It is a simple 56k modem, built in the ACME labs.
INPUT:_
You look at the Quickstartguide. It explains how to use a PC to connect to the internet. It is very heavy since it descibse this process for many Operations Systems. You wonder why it is called a _Quick_startguide.
INPUT:_
>>15
Vtec hasn't kicked, yo.
INPUT:_
You can't see any such thing.
INPUT:_

INPUT: rei

The voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode."
INPUT:_

INPUT: xyzzy

INPUT: warota
INPUT: USE MODEM
INPUT: ATL3M1N1H1DTL

>>20
The voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode."
INPUT:_
>>21
The voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode."
INPUT:_
You don't have any PC to use the modem with.
INPUT:_
The voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode."

HINT: The passcode has something to do with not4chan & /b/
INPUT:_

Aww, no support for AT commands?
INPUT:look castle
INPUT:pedobear
INPUT:lolicon

IIIIIIIIIIIIPUITUUTUTU: my butt lmaooa oaooo llll roffle roflfe

>>23
[you can't connect the modem anywhere here, so where do you want to use the AT commands? =P]


You look at the Castle that is called 4ch. In it lives Lord moot and his more or less evil proconsul W.T. Snacks. You came here to finaly beat the Monster that is called MySQL Failure. When you first came here, the doors where shut, and nobody answered. This time you came here, prepared and expecting the worst.
INPUT:_
The voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode."
INPUT:_
The voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode."

HINT: It has something to do with /b/ AND not4chan.
INPUT:_

>>24
Nobody hears you screaming.
INPUT:_

INPUT: INVENTORY
INPUT: CHECK BLOSSOM
INPUT: TORRENT PLZ
oh, screw it
INPUT: GO 4CHAN

You see a LOLI.
Input:say 'Y HELO THAR!!!1'
The LOLI says 'I have called a police for you!'
You see a PEDOBEAR

>>26
You look in your inventory. You currently have a energysword, a Swiss Army Knife XLT, a ACME 56k modem, a internet quickstart guide, a W shaped blossom, a pack of matchsticks, a rope and a "KILL IT WITH FIRE"-sticker.

HINT: You can use the "KILL It WITH FIRE"-sticker only once. chose wise. If you use it correctly you can get to a bonus room.
INPUT:_
You look at the red, W shaped blossom. It's a red, W shaped blossom, and it is for some strange reason completly hard.
INPUT:_
You have no Tracker.
You move into the room behind the door that has the letters 4CHAN encarved. The room is dark, but the light that comes through the door lets you see something... As your eyes get used to the darkness, you see a statue of cockmongler which misses its teeth.
INPUT:_
>>27
pls STFU & GTFO. thx.

>>26
You look in your inventory. You currently have a energysword, a Swiss Army Knife XLT, a ACME 56k modem, a internet quickstart guide, a W shaped blossom, a pack of matchsticks, a rope and a "KILL IT WITH FIRE"-sticker.

HINT: You can use the "KILL It WITH FIRE"-sticker only once. chose wise. If you use it correctly you can get to a bonus room.
INPUT:_
You look at the red, W shaped blossom. It's a red, W shaped blossom, and it is for some strange reason completly hard.
INPUT:_
You have no Tracker.
You move into the room behind the door that has the letters 4CHAN encarved. The room is dark, but the light that comes through the door lets you see something... As your eyes get used to the darkness, you see a statue of cockmongler which misses its teeth.
INPUT:_
>>27
pls STFU & GTFO. thx.

(fucking doublepost. *smacksworld4ch* -.-)

All right, sword! And Swiss knife!
INPUT: LOOK SWORD
INPUT: LOOK KNIFE
INPUT: LOOK STATUE
INPUT: CHECK ROOM

(thats the way it is meant to be played. :D)

You look at your Energysword. You bought it once at a garage sale, and its battery is running low. You can use it as a lamp, but it doesn't cut anything anymore. Maybe you can find something to recharge the batterys?
INPUT:_

You look at your Swiss Army Knife. It's the one and only SwissChamp XLT. It got every single tool ever built into a Swiss Army Knife, a total of 50! That are:

* Large Blade
* Small Blade
* Bottle Opener with
* Large Screwdriver &
* Wire Stripper
* Corkscrew
* Can opener with
* Small Screwdriver
* Reamer with
* Sewing Eye
* Key Ring
* Toothpick
* Tweezers
* Scissors
* Hook
* Phillips Screwdriver
* Magnifying Glass
* Wood Saw
* Pliers with
* Wire Cutter
* Wire Crimper
* Metal Saw with
* Metal File
* Nail Cleaner
* Nail File
* Wood Chisel
* Fine Screwdriver
* Fish Scaler with
* Hook Disgorger
* Ruler (inches/cm)
* Mini Screwdriver
* Ball Point Pen with
* DIP Switch Setter
* Straight Pin
* Pharmaceutical Spatula
* Pruning Blade
* Electrician’s Blade with
* Wire Scraper
* Bit Case
* Bit Wrench with
* 4 mm hex socket
* 5 mm hex socket
* #0 Pozidrive Bit
* #1 Pozidrive Bit
* 4 mm Flat Head
* #2 Phillips Head
* 4 mm Hex Bit
* #6 Torx Bit
* #10 Torx Bit
* #15 Torx Bit

It's the goddamn Mother of all Swiss Army Knifes, and it's yours!
MacGuyver would be jealous!
INPUT:_

You look at the Statue of Cockmongler. It stars at you, and it feels to you like he could jump off of his podest and start sucking your cock, but the Statue is missing its theeth, so even if it would so so, you wouldn't have to worry about loosing your cock. On the socket of the statue is a text written: "I'll suck your cock!", apparently a quote. As you exame the mouth of the statue, you notice that there is a mechanism in the mouth, and it looks like it would activate something if you put the teeth into the mouth. Where could the teeth be?
INPUT:_

You check the room out. Beside the statue of cockmongler in the middle of the room, it has a impressing stairway going upstairs where a big doorway is. The handrail looks like you could slide it down since there are no knobs at all!
On the ceiling are two big electric chandelier hanging down, and you notice a switch of that you think that it could turn on the lights.
There are a few chests of drawers standing around, but as you try to pull one of the drawers out you notice that you can't pull 'em out. You try to find the lock that keeps the drawers closed, but apparently there is no lock. Strange.
You found five doors in the room: The door that you came through, a door that goes to the left, one that goes to the right, one hidden behind the stairway that goes also to the left and the doorway that is upstairs.

CURRENT WAYS TO GO: OUTSIDE, LEFT, STAIRWAYDOOR, RIGHT, UP
INPUT:_

Input:ACTIVATE COMMAND STACKING (; after command treats it as a new line.)
Input:GO OUTSIDE; SAY 'CHILD PORNOGRAPHY IS VERY ILLEGAL.'

(okok)
You move outside and scream "CHILD PORNOGRAPHY IS VER ILLEGAL."! The Voice answers you: "This is not the correct passcode.". Maybe you should look around in the castle if you can find out the correct passcode?
INPUT:_

INPUT: LOOK KEY RING
INPUT: GO CASTLE
INPUT: USE SWITCH
INPUT: LOOK MECHANISM
INPUT: LOOK CHANDELIER

You look at the key ring of your SwissChamp XLT. The key of your home is on it, but nothing else.
INPUT:_
You move back into the castle, and the light thats coming from the outside is getting less and less which makes the room darker with every second.
INPUT:_
You use the switch and the two chandeliers on the top of the room lighten up in bright flash, making you blind for a few seconds. When you can see something again, you notices that the eyes of the Cockmongler statue are glittering in a strange blue light.
INPUT:_
You look at the mechanism in the mouth of the Cockmongler Statue. It is a simple metallic claw that is connected to a chain. You first think about trying to activate it with your hands, but then it comes to your mind that the mechanism could activate traps if the chain gets pulled to strong or to weak.
INPUT:_
You look at the two electric chandeliers that are lightening up the room. The light that is coming from them is very bright and seems to cause the eyes of the cockmongler statue to glitter blue.
INPUT:_

INPUT: LOOK Toothpick_

You look at the toothpick of your SwissChamp XLT. It's a toothpick.
INPUT:_

INPUT: LOOK CHEST
INPUT: USE WOOD SAW ON CHEST

You look at one of the chests. It's a typical chest with drawers in it, and it looks very old. Some of the chests have dust on them, and the dust is so high that the air has drawn strange lines in it. How long are this chest standing here?
INPUT:_
You try to use the wood saw of your SwissChamp XLT on one of the chests, but the wood is much to hard and after minutes of work you didn't even create a small scratch. Which strangly strong wood has been used to build this chests?
INPUT:_