What do you think of this?

I am currently developing a language designed for easy learning and to be cool-sounding. Tell me what you think about this:

All sentences have the following order:
Adjective, (Number of) (Each/per/etc quantifiers) Noun (possesive particle) (Noun belonging to previous noun), Time particle, Adjective for object, Object, Adverb, Verb, Question particle.

There are no articles.
There are 6 time particles that decide the sentence time. You add a particle before this one to make it negative:
present
present and still going on
past
past and still going on
future
future and still going on

There are 5 pronouns:
We
I
You
He/she/they
It

The numeric system has numbers 0-9, 10, 100, 1000, and 1000000 at the moment, and three counter particles for things, living beings (plants, animals, people), and for ordinal numbers.

For example 15 keyboards would be: ten-five things keyboard
1st day: one ordinal day
24 people: two-ten-four living-beings person

That, plus around 130 words is what I have developed at the moment. I won't tell the words right now, just tell me what you think about it.

>>5
verb at the end, complicated time tenses, pronouns... looks far more similar to udmurt than japanese for me
however, op hasn't revealed the info on how verbs look and how much cases the language is going to have