Which Arabic is most useful?

Hey guys,

I'm thinking about learning Arabic - no need for dire warnings, I've already heard about open and closed words, word-morphing, and horror stories about 3-forms of each letter, no-vowel writing, 13-form verbs and so on...

But I need some advice - which version would be the most practically useful from the standpoint of someone who doesn't plan to travel to any given Arabic country, but may still need to speak it without sounding too weird. Is Classical Arabic really the best way to go, or would I do better to learn Gulf Arabic or another dialect?

>>8
LOL 'cause you took my post in >>5 seriously.  Get real you faggot.  I'm quite well aware that not all speaker of Arabic are terrorists.  It's just that, well...you see... I HAVE SENSE OF HUMOR!  You on the other hand probably have a poll shoved so far up your ass that you can't laugh at anything that might be offensive.  Good luck learning your moon language, chump.