Hey, listen to me for a moment, a'ight? I don't care if it's not related to this thread. Just listen!
Yesterday, I went over to the Ristorante di Milano for a simple meal. Yes, THAT Italian restaurant, Ristorante di Milano.
But the whole restaurant was so crowded, I couldn't even find a seat for hours!
Then I saw a poster that said "Special offer! €12 discount".
I thought to myself... geez, that's so fucking amazing. You guys don't even normally visit Ristorante di Milano.
All you bastards came here just for that stupid-assed €12 discount.
Just for those 12 Euros. TWELVE FREAKIN' EUROS!!
Then I saw some parents & children. A family of four eating out at the Ristorante di Milano. Damn, so much for that bitch's home-cooked family feast.
Then one of the little brats said "Daddy's gonna order a large Bruschetta Fegatini".
I couldn't believe it! Uuuuuggh, are you out of your fucking mind!?
Shiiit, i'll pay you €12 just to move your stanky fat-ass out of a seat.
Dude, you just don't go to the Ristorante di Milano for that lala-oh-i'm-so-happy dinner bullshit.
It's where you pick a fist-fight with the fucking guy sitting across 'yah in that U-shaped table.
Kill or be killed. Heh... now that's the kinda shit I like.
Ladies, kids, stand back... 'cuz everything's gonna get FUCKED UP NOW.
After waiting for ages, I finally found an empty seat. But then, the guy next to me ordered by saying "A large Neopolitan pizza with a LOTTA' pepperoni".
Dude, that just pissed me off even more. Shit, you just don't say "lotta' pepperoni" nowadays, ya' freaking bastard.
How the fuck can you say "lotta' pepperoni" with that "oh, i'm so fucking cool, hur-hur-hur..." look!?!?
Damn, I was THIS CLOSE to standing in front of his face and yelling "DO YOU EVEN LIKE EATING THAT MUCH FUCKIN' PEPPERONI!?"
For a freaking hour, I was THIS CLOSE to doing that.
Shit, I bet you just wanted to use the words "lotta' pepperoni" out loud. Wow, you're so clever.
Dude, you gotta be like ME. See, now I know what's "all that" in the Ristorante di Milano.
What's cool right now to say is "Pennette con Ricotta & Melanzane". That's it!
You see now, a large pasta serving with aubergines & ricotta is what the hardcore Ristorante di Milano freaks eat. Like ME.
Saying "Pennette con Ricotta & Melanzane" means that won't get a pizza, but they put a WHOLE MESS of pasta.
Mmmmm... a lotta pasta, now THAT'S what I call a meal.
But anywhoo... ordering that is kinda' like a double-edged sword. Cuz' then the waiters might notice you the next time you come by.
So yeah, I can't reccomend this to noobs.
For you, just go order a Prosciutto e Melone al Ventaglo. That's as far as you can go, you know what i'm sayin'?