>too many DDoS attacks
>moot can't be arsed
>pulls the plug on 4chan
>suddenly, suicide levels spike
>religious people see this as a bad omen
>more suicides from the religious sect
>hipsters decide that living is too mainstream
>suicides shoot up even higher
>people get scared of all the dead people
>those with pulmonary defects get so scared they have heart attacks
>overweight people have strokes and die
>police and paramedics break their backs and die trying to transport morbidly obese people
>world population cut by 50%
>jobs everywhere why cant I hold all these jobs
>prosperity follows
>4chan shutting down was listed as the greatest thing ever.