[PLAINTIVE CRY FOR HELP WITH WINDOWS]

[STATEMENT, USUALLY MISSPELLED, INDICATING USER WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING UNUSUAL WITH HIS OR HER SYSTEM].

[STATEMENT, ALSO USUALLY MISSPELLED, CLAIMING THAT THINGS FUCKED UP OUT OF NOWHERE].

[EXPRESSION OF DESPERATE NEED OF QUICK FIX FOR THIS PROBLEM WITH NO REGARD TO ITS LEGALITY OR ETHICALITY, IMBUED WITH A SLIGHT NUANCE OF SUCH THAT THE MEMBERS ON THIS BOARD ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT].