Autorun suggestions for uni?

Hai /comp/. At my university, every classroom has a computer for teacher use, locked when not in use, so I haven't had a chance to mess with them.
Next week, however, the most computer-illiterate of my teachers wants us to plug our usb memories in to show some shitty report we have to do.

What autorun do I put in mine?
Moar details:
- XP.
- Comps don't retain installed software.
- Probably won't have admin rights.
- Connected to interwebs.
- Know my expectable drive letter.
- Teacher's memory probably plugged at the same time.
- Up to 2GB usb memory availabe.
- Teacher is likely to type password at some point.

I know .bat but I can't program.

if your computer-illiterate teacher already has a PC set up to autorun off a USB drive, chances are their system is so screwed there's nothing left worth doing.