Why does linux suck?

So I decided to get in on sum linux action since everything is so easy with livecds and all nowadays. I download slax, burn it and pop it in. After a few minutes it just locks up on me. I thought this shit was supposed to be off da hook but it's lamer than a jap guy getting his micropenis blown

If you're a noob, why are you trying a LiveCD that's basically Slackware?  Try Ubuntu/Kubuntu.  It's made for noobs.  No shame in being a noob or anything, we all are/were at some point, but Slackware isn't for noobs.

And if you can't get Linux working, that's not Linux's fault, so please don't go around bashing it.  That just shows that you're an idiot more than anything.  Now go try Kubuntu.