Softwareto help with DirectX and 2+ displays?

I have 2 monitors and it's a shame how difficult it is to game and utilize my second monitor. If I'm playing a game on my primary monitor, and an IM blinks on the other monitor, I have to alt-tab out of the game (if the game doesn't support moving the mouse over to the other screen while playing), and if I do, the game minimizes. This wouldn't be a terrible thing if restoring the screen wouldn't lag so badly, and can sometimes cause the game to hang or crash. So, is there any program out there that can help me play a game on one monitor (fullscreen) without DirectX having a fit every time I try to use my second monitor?

surely it's more of game support then software....

It's a directX issue. It affects most applications that use directX.