Best Programming language to start with?

I have heard

Java
C
Python

Scheme

I don't recommend Java. It's certainly possible, and I'd recommend it over C++ as a first language, but nevertheless there are so many better options.

Seriously, Scheme.

PS: here is a nice book that will teach you how to program:

http://mitpress.mit.edu/sicp/full-text/book/book.html

>>2
Cocksucker.

C, because you'll know the syntax for about 80% of the other languages.

>>4
Syntax is trivial. A competent programmer can learn the syntax of a new language in a few hours. The important thing is to become competent.

>>5
Spoken like a true beginner.
In a few years, you'll look at VB or ASP, and then say "If/EndIf? Why the FUCK did they remove the simple { }, those stupid FUCKS? ?"

>>6
I was trained in Java (read: had it forced down my throat for 3 years at university) which uses a C style syntax. I have learned Python, Ruby, Scheme and Common Lisp for fun. I currently get paid to program VB, which I didn't even know before I started the job. Yes the syntax is braindamaged, but I was able to learn it in a few hours.

The only impact syntax should have on which language you use to teach yourself programming should be to ensure that it's a simple syntax without lots of confusing special cases. This is why Scheme makes an excellent first language; as a Lisp it doesn't have syntax, just a notation for writing lists of symbols.

So no, not spoken like a true beginner. Surely a true beginner would consider syntax to be a hugely important issue because he would not have learned the difference between syntax and semantics.

C.

A good way to filter those who have the potential to become programmers from the unwashed masses.

Start with something simple, like Pascal. Once you're decent with that, try and learn some assembly, to get a feel for the underlying mechanics. Then learn C, it will seem like the best thing ever.

Real programmers code in assembly.
(and code comments are for faggots)

section .data
msg     db      'Hello World!',0AH
len     equ     $-msg

section .text
global  _start
_start: mov     edx,len
        mov     ecx,msg
        mov     ebx,1
        mov     eax,4
        int     80h
        mov     ebx,0
        mov     eax,1
        int     80h

Programming sucks. Don't bother with it. Some rat in his mother's basement will always be willing to work away his free time to code you what you need. Look on sourceforge.

Don't fall for the seemingly glamorous lifestyle of a programmer. Nerds can do that with anything, because they have the most to conceal.

>>11
There's nothing like a blowjob while programming. Nothing!

>>12

only if getting blown by people like esr and rms turns your crank.