Deploying a web server fast-OS/Distro/Tools?

I'm interested in your opinion on this topic. Let's say you want a web server up for development or testing ASAP.

Here are some requirements, but feel free to discuss solutions that don't address all of them.

- Fast to deploy, without requiring to read a manual that is TL;DR
- As little configuration files to edit as possible, and all the configuration files contain commented guidelines and examples. Automation of the menial work would be very appreciable.
- Can be used for standard configurations (Apache+Mysql+Php) but also for less common ones (LightHttpd+FastCGI+Ruby+PostgreSql)
- FTP, SSH and SFTP
- Steps to take are not likely to change much in the next few years.
- Bonus requirement: secure and performant enough to be actually usable for production too.

In what way is Apache insane?
The config files.

Also, using Lighttpd and FastCGI when you're using Ruby is fucking retarded. It'll be slow no matter what you do.
Explain.