Deploying a web server fast-OS/Distro/Tools?

I'm interested in your opinion on this topic. Let's say you want a web server up for development or testing ASAP.

Here are some requirements, but feel free to discuss solutions that don't address all of them.

- Fast to deploy, without requiring to read a manual that is TL;DR
- As little configuration files to edit as possible, and all the configuration files contain commented guidelines and examples. Automation of the menial work would be very appreciable.
- Can be used for standard configurations (Apache+Mysql+Php) but also for less common ones (LightHttpd+FastCGI+Ruby+PostgreSql)
- FTP, SSH and SFTP
- Steps to take are not likely to change much in the next few years.
- Bonus requirement: secure and performant enough to be actually usable for production too.

May I suggest LAMP, P = PHP? If you're not after optimum performance, but productivity and "get it working fast", there are many packages that will install everything for you, XAMP I think is one of them, both for Linux and Windows whatever you prefer (I recommend Linux for servers, Windows for workstations to develop on). PHP is very productive, just be sure you're not all new to it and write shit because that's also easy to do.