Self-help books

Well, /adv/ and /lit/ are useless. I'm looking for some good self-help books, preferably those based on actual research. No pick-up artist nonsense or miracle quick fixes written by quacks.

Any suggestions?

Except that Carnegie's "method" is crap and never has worked for anybody ever in the history of time. Other than that, totally.

But think about that. Why wouldn't it work? Well, Carnegie offers zero contingencies for obvious circumstances. In his world there are no hustlers, bosses are gee golly cornball, and women like flowers.

Good luck with that one!!!

As for PUA stuff, well, that stuff is just the usual barber shop talk. Commercialized. It's not substantially better, but it has two things of use (these are conservative values): 1. experience (try this. Hey, maybe it will work for you). 2. An illustration of the dearth of venues for heterosexual males to have mere conversation. Believe it or not that's a cultural affliction, not a genetic one. In many countries it's very common for men to socialize in all-male groups.

Something else? Learn a form of meditation called "focusing." There are other names. The basic idea is to just focus on a sensation that coexists with a worry or an unpleasant thought or feeling. Merely focusing on it should help it go away. More complex variations exist, but really this is the only