I'm told I should be a writer

Here's an excerpt from an essay I wrote on NASA

Constructive criticism or just criticism... welcomed.
 
The insatiable hunger for new knowledge, coupled with maniacally unearthing virgin frontiers to quench that ache, has served to implant deep within Human culture… wanderlust. Throughout history, societies have coerced their people and technologies towards being first to behold the new and strange. In the early sixteenth century, Europe was fixated on exploring and colonizing the new world. Tomatoes, corn, tobacco, and immaculate land were the rewards to whom was first to lay claim. It took several hundred years for mankind to conquer that expanse, and soon after, the sky became the target of our all-controlling desires. On wooden-wing and reliable zephyr that youthful frontier was tamed and collared, for the benefit of all. Still not satisfied, lunar ambitions soon become the twinkle in the eye of society. Seated foremost, Mankind hurled itself, with the fiery roar of colossal engines, away from the steadfast constraints of Terra Firma. Sadly, the resolve to endure and occupy the celestial hinterlands seemed to atrophy, like the once zealous dedication shown in striving for that now—actualized accomplishment. The all-enveloping sense of wonderment and curiosity for the unknown, which was coerced by society to fuel immense advancements of societal and technological progress, is now under threat of becoming defunct. If the status-quo of allowing the cultural significance of NASA to further wallow in mediocrity and uncertainty, America will soon lose the long treasured societal pastime: of looking towards the future with wonderment, and with genuine eagerness to explore the exotic or unknown.

Less is more, OP.  You want to the reader to pay attention to your argument, not wonder WTF you just said.

First thing's first: READ THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT LOUD.  If it doesn't sound natural, then it won't read naturally, either.  If you need to take in a couple of deep breaths to get through one sentence, it's too long and needs to be chopped up.  In other words, if it sounds clunky and stilted when you're reading it out loud, it's going to read clunky and stilted when your reader scans it on the page.  I'm not saying it has to be poetry, but if the words on the page don't follow a natural rhythm, it will be difficult to read, and soon, your reader will just skip to the end just to find out what you were trying to say, and in the end, probably mis-read your message.  When it comes to your position, leave no room for misinterpretation, ever.

Choose your modifiers carefully.  This cannot be stressed enough.  Simple is best until simple stops working.

Now onto structure.  A paragraph is a basic structure made up of three components: a topic sentence, the body sentences that either support and refute the topic, and the concluding sentence.  Remember this: it is not a bowl of Alpha-Bits, it is a structure of ideas.  An essay is the same: a paragraph that presents your argument, paragraphs that support it, and a paragraph that summarizes the body while re-presenting your argument.

If a word takes up more than three syllables, make sure it doesn't happen too often.  You're working on a class writing project, not pornography for philologists.  Your goal is not to show your teacher that you have a large vocabulary, but to show that you know how to do research.  Do you have an argument?  Can you support it?  Can you cite your sources properly?  Can you write up a working "works cited" page?  THAT is what an essayist should be most concerned with, not the size of one's vocabulary.