Stephen King

I would just like everyones opinion on Stephen King.
I know people who can't stand him, and I know people who would pay money to lick his nuts.
Personally, I haven't read too much of his work(Dark Tower series, The Stand, Secret window/garden, and currently in the middle of Langoliers)but from what I have read, I generally enjoy the over all stories, but a lot of the content and just some of his writing habits annoy the hell out of me.

Randall Flagg totally went out like a bitch.
"Oh hai thar, I seemingy appeared out of nowhere due to magic, but oh look, turns out I'm not magic at all. Now I'm gonna eat mah PB&J like a mong and then die without a fight."

Also Stephen King writes at least one of these 3 things into every book.
1) A retarded character
2) Someone farting
3) Someone touching someone's boobs

A Guaran-fucking-tee you no matter what King you read, it will have at least one of those, and in a few cases a combo of 1&2.