Book of Mormon

Elder Ballard of the LDS Church, talking to a group of graduates at BYU-Hawaii, encouraged us to use the media,  to teach of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'd like all who read this post to know that this is a book that has changed my life. It is a book that can change anyone's life if read with an open heart and mind. It testifies of Jesus Christ, our atoning Savior. It was translated by Joseph Smith Jr., who was a prophet of God. I've read this book many times and I learn something new every time. I spent a year and a half in Brazil teaching from and about this book. I use this book to help raise my children in righteousness. "Abiding by it's principles will get you nearer to God than any other book." I know that this is true, for it has worked in my life. I'd encourage all who read this comment to also read this book.

religion is bunk

Just ignore them and they'll go away.  Oh wait they won't because it's their mission to convert every last person on Earth while multiplying like rabbits.  Oh well.  Enjoy your Orson Scott Card.

Ooh. LDS thread.

So, tell us all the wonderful stories about how Jesus appeared to the American Indians in the 40 days from his resurrection to his ascension.  Tell us about how Joseph Smith was struck unconscious by his angel mentor, Moroni, and told where the magical rocks and plates were from which he translated the Book of Mormon.

Tell us about how he put a rock in a hat, the hat to his face, and pulled out the next letter of the book, told it to a man on the other side of a curtain to translate this work.

Tell us about the sexual abuse that happens in the deep temple rooms when women are getting cleansed to get married.  Tell us about how they chant in unison about their total dedication (to the point of submitting to MURDER) during their marriage ceremonies.

Tell us about how they get a special name, whispered only to them, and their husband is the only one who can know it, or they'll go to hell.  Tell us about how women can only get into Celestial Kingdom if they're married to a man who's been holy enough.

Tell us about how if they're really good, they'll go beyond Celestial Kingdom and become the god and goddess of their own planet, populating it and spreading mirth among their  offspring on the planet they rule.

Tell us about all that, please do.

MORMONS IS A SICK, DEPRAVED AND VIOLENT SUB-CULTURE. IT IS A SUB-CULTURE IMMERSED IN THE OCCULT, VAMPIRISM, WITCHCRAFT, DEATH, HORROR, RAPE, SUICIDE AND PERVERSITY.

WHILE ALL SUB-CULTURES ARE INHERENTLY BAD, MORMONS IS THE WORST OF THESE SUB-CULTURES. BY DEFINITION THEY ARE “SUB” (ie. LOWER OR INFERIOR) TO NORMAL HARD-WORKING CULTURES. AS IN ‘SUB-STANDARD’ CULTURE. THEY DO NOT PROMOTE ANY VALUES THAT BENEFIT SOCIETY. THEY DO NOT PROMOTE ANY VALUES THAT MAKE FOR STABLE FAMILIES.

Those mormon boys that come knocking on my door are always so fucking hot. I'm so hitting on the next one that comes alone. Oh elder!

Mormons have the last laugh. You and all your relatives have been baptized by proxy.

I'm in Utah and the Brave New World meets Truman Show 1950's dystopia in which everyone is used to carrying their little book while walking past billboards of glorious chairmain Smith on every street corner doesn't bother me, it's that I can't get laid by anyone other than walmart soccer moms, furries and mexicans.  Look at Anonidate, it's not pretty.

Ah a mormon thread how misplaced. Personally I think OP is trolling. I went to a mormon church until I was 18. Its not I don't believe god exists its that I don't care if he does or not.

>4
Ah "the god makers," correct? hated even by some anti-mormons. There is so much incorrect about your post, that its sad you took the time to write it.

>5
Caplock doesn't make it obvious you're trying to get a rise out of somebody.
>7
True I even did that once rather stupid IMO 

But this is /book/ right? I'll be honest I've never read all of the book of mormon but I know most of the stories and like the stories of the new testament, they're rather boring.

No different than any Christian religion, just with a few of their own boring traditions. Heavy on family togetherness and community service. The south park episode was pretty on par if not exactly.

And now you know...

Most religions are so old and complacent that they've given up on trying to divide the world into sections to convert every last person alive.  Catholicism used to think that way and it got over it.  Mormonism is still too young to realize it should stop trying, and it keeps trying to spread at full force and hope enough people can be turned by treating people like the 1% success rate of a telemarketer, and hoping that 1% will be greater by multiplying the number of telemarketers.  That would be an analogy, but many are telemarketers and salesmen if they aren't slaves to MLM.  They find a comfortable dogma to follow and leave their rational minds on autopilot.

I could never be a Mormon.  No caffeine?  I'd kill everything in my path.

>>10
You're not giving the church enough credit. Their conversion rate is much better than 1%.

>>11
I would think about it while drifting back to sleep in the morning.

They don't seem to realize how people react to the cover.  "ANOTHER testament?  Don't we have enough already?"

So what you are saying Anon 2009-04-02 is that god is dead and that you believe in a god that only cares about the people in the past, but miricals like healing the sick and parting the red sea could not happen today. to say "Don't we have enough" is saying that god can't speak and that he is powerless. I Know that the bible is the word of god and I also know that the Book of Mormon is the word of god as well. All I can say is don't knock it before you try it.

>>1
My friend, I understand your efforts (and the reasons behind them) but I'm afraid this is the wrong place.  I would be surprised to find stories of life-changing, religious discussions anywhere near 4chan.  You'd probably have better opportunities with your next-door neighbors.

>>15
You should stop to consider that Joe Smith & co made the BoM up whole cloth. Historic and scientific evidence disproves key aspects of the narrative. Do some critical thinking on the subject. Don't knock it before you try it.

While you're at it, do the same with the Bible. If the Bible is the word of god, then why all the errors and contradictions? Could it be because it was written by men who had no contact with a supernatural being? Don't knock it before you try it.

I know a few people who have a blood soaked Book of Latter Day Saints on their coffee table. Makes an interesting conversation piece and it keeps away the mormons and jehova's witnesses.

Where do I get one?

what a nice troll you have here, reported.

>>20
good job trollspotter, i know the administrators will be on top of this

Mormons are the lowest form of human trash that has ever crawled upon this good clean earth. 'Garbage people' I call them, and I can assure you that is what they are.

Any see this shit going through 4chan yet? - cgi.ebay.com/The-main-NewMormonPresident-auction_W0QQitemZ250433909146QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item3a4f06319a&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1205%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50

Somewhat related to mormons I guess

>>19

You can order it for free.

The blood soaked one?  Or do I have to do it myself?

^ALL _RELIGION ^IS _BULLSHIT

>>26
hey that rules how did you do that

Southpark Bitches !!

Joseph Smith was called a prophet
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
He started the Mormon religion
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Joseph Smith was called a prophet-

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Many people believed Joseph
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
And that night he-ee saw an angel
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Joseph Smith was called a prophet
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

He found the stones and golden plates
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Even though nobody else ever saw them
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

And that's how the Book of Mormon was written
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dadumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dadumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dahumb dahumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb duuumb, duuumb.

Martin went home to his wife
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
And showed her pages from the Book of Mormon
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Lucy Harris smart smart smart
Smart smart smart smart smart

Martin Harris dumb dadumb-

Lucy Harris smart smart smart
Martin Harris dumb.
So Martin went on back to Smith
Said the pages had gone away
Smith got mad and told Martin
He needed to go pray
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

BYU must have a pretty shitty lit course to spawn Smeyer.

"I know that this is true, for it has worked in my life."

LOLZ

OP, I am glad that this book fulfillment in your life. I don't know you, so I don't know if you've already done this, but before you go about imploring other people to read your holy book, I'd suggest you read the holy books of other religions. Read the Koran, read the Bhagavad Gita and the Ramayana, read Confucius's Analects, and the Tao-te-Ching. You are obviously a religious person, so I think you could find inspiration in all of these books.