Critique this please.

This is a poem I wrote and entered into a scholarship contest last week, the results arent released until next month, and I'd like to get /book/'s opinion.

Frustrated Infatuation

A spot irrevocably remains,
and keeps the mind from switching lanes.
That visage ever persistent
becomes all of existence
The memory of her heat
that burned souls so easily
some strange affliction of the feat
made him feel less than measly

The waters were still
ere it was all made real
Praises were tossed, back and then forth
As they both vowed to neglect each other's worth.

That stoic mind was perturbed on that night.
The distress, and anguish and subsequent fight
she had with her former, a knave to the last.
He knew her long before, yet fell for her fast.
Now he is bound between those two organs
the heart and the mind caught in a dance.
All men must face one time in their life,
A state all consumed with frustration and strife.

plz critique plz

"wots dat" johnny said an spat on lennys ass cheeks
"its me mole johnny, u shud know dat uve been fucking me in the ass for da last 3 years baby" lenny replied and snorted his bugger back
"well i dinna know i wonna fuk u any more kenny. dat moles pretty scary"
"me names lenny"
i know kenney
its spelt k-e-n-n-y
how u know its spetls liek dat??
i can predict things kenne
like wot
like dat after uve read this ull think its utter shite
well gollyposh johnny uve got it
i know. im not that stupid u know. just tired
of wot
of all the pretense in the world drawing the opprobrium of the literary upper crust
by god kelly uve gon maaaaaaaaad
maaaaaaaaaaaaaad baby maaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!!! kiss my ass cheeks lenny
i will johnny
johnny im not johnny

im u