Critique this please.

This is a poem I wrote and entered into a scholarship contest last week, the results arent released until next month, and I'd like to get /book/'s opinion.

Frustrated Infatuation

A spot irrevocably remains,
and keeps the mind from switching lanes.
That visage ever persistent
becomes all of existence
The memory of her heat
that burned souls so easily
some strange affliction of the feat
made him feel less than measly

The waters were still
ere it was all made real
Praises were tossed, back and then forth
As they both vowed to neglect each other's worth.

That stoic mind was perturbed on that night.
The distress, and anguish and subsequent fight
she had with her former, a knave to the last.
He knew her long before, yet fell for her fast.
Now he is bound between those two organs
the heart and the mind caught in a dance.
All men must face one time in their life,
A state all consumed with frustration and strife.

OP here
anon has made my day
my english teacher hinted she didnt like it
but here, in the great medium that is the internet, i find one who likes it, and even sounds educated on the subject of poetic form.
TAKE THAT SULLIVAN!