>>6
This is pointless. What does Mona Lisa and art have to do with a clown shooting a man in the head? You told your reader about art, and then abandoned it, which means that we just wasted our time reading about something that has nothing to do with the excerpt at hand. That's what constitutes bad writing, see? What does heroin have to do with the shooting? Nothing. How is saving the clown related to the story? It isn't: it's about robbery, which is one thing, and a heroin addiction is completely another, in your story. What does robbery have to do with the clown or Don as characters? Nothing. It could have happened as a part of the bigger picture - if you had some need for it - but since this is your whole story, it's just pointless. What does your elaborate sitting down incident have to do with anything and why did you even tell about that?