Muv-Luv:Altered Fable translation thread

First thread: /a/ 69113696
Latest thread: http://archive.foolz.us/a/thread/69617638
All the stuff should be in archives

AT code center:
http://polaris.aralgood.com/index.php?mid=board_atcode

Yes, Araltrans works with newer and older rUGP machines

Needs: Translators

Jutsuki Sen: 5% done
Diel: 1/6 done with TDA 00, Chicken Driver revising

!!VYwl7ycLm3c - coder: Tweaking araltrans-successful
Jutsuki Sen !!3NyYVBjX5sl - AF translator
Sachibelle !09b.f1ShXg - AF translator (?)
Diel (Chronicles Translator) !ok/MkdpFbs- TDA translator

Old link to !!VYwl7ycLm3c's Araltrans tweak
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?52ntlgb7bodc2br

Can I run something by anyone who cares to listen?

As mentioned above, I was trying to insert the existing translation of the TE demo into the game using NullPointer's plugin.

However on close inspection there appears to have been some pretty liberal rewriting and embellishing, so I tried to reword it to be a bit closer to the original.

But my Japanese ability is definitely almost nonexistent (one only has to look at the timeline on the wiki to know that), and it's very slow going as it's almost a complete retranslation, and a poor one too.

So,
Here's what I've done so far
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?63ce8yg00fby879

And here's his translation
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?k21q55zbbblyqwy

Could someone check it over and judge whether or not that guy's translation is good enough to just be stuck straight in, and if not whether someone else is willing to pick this up? Because I don't think I'll be able to do this anymore with deadlines and midsessional exams approaching.