4chan level

I'm a 4chan level otaku. I don't talk with you chumps in anime club, I don't read your "anime magazine" with new releases I saw two years ago. I don't need to go to a club full of fat smelly people to watch Full Metal Alchemist all over again. I've got fuckin' live feed torrents of the newest animes you haven't even hear of, and figures from said anime being shipped to my house so I can masturbate on them. Go read your "yowie" on fanfiction.net, I'm downloading loli dojinshi and reading the fucking raws.
You keep wearing your naruto headbands and shit, socializing with your weeaboo friends. I'll be walking by, Anonymous. You'll never know that the master of anime had passed you by, because I suppress my power level.

You're a 4chan level otaku, you say? Hrmph. I am a 2channel level otaku, and you are as far beneath me as narutards are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your torrents? My satellite dish is pulling down the latest shows while they air from motherfucking SPACE. By the time you even see the OP I've already fapped and smoked a cigarette. And the latest moeblob you fell in love with this season? Three years ago I played the game the show's based, got the secret harem ending, and came on her face. And her friends' faces. All at the same time. Twice. You keep waiting for your precious torrents. I'll be standing in line at Comiket, getting the real deal from the artist himself.